- J.R.R. Tolkien
UIL rehearsals were good today. I've been praying God will use me in UIL to really be intentional with my relationships. And really reach out. But, it'll be hard because I'm not good at that. But I'm really trying to make close relationships.
I keep having the same problems of my mouth. Ha, if you know what I mean? And it's not even gossip, its just not knowing when to shut up. I'm trying really hard to work on it and I hope that with God's strength I can get better. I'm also trying hard to not get on the computer/Facebook so much. It's such a time waster and everyone knows I already have little of it. This break was nice and I was able to get everything done so that was good. But I'm trying to cut back and be more focused. Also something I struggle with.
I got my fish on Saturday! I think his name is Paul. Or something along those lines. I'll let you know when I've officially named him.
Fill myself up with you, Lord, and overflow me with your love. And love through me.
I feel sick and tired. My nose is running. Ha, good thing it's a 3 day weekend!
Senior Directs went better than everyone expected. I think. I did good I guess, got some compliments. It was fun. It was real tiring, but I enjoyed it. I'm glad its over though. Now to worry/stress about UIL! Wooohoo. This is going to be a fun and hard couple of months. (BTW, our first competition is March 26... mark that on your calender (: )
Also, the Olympics are coming up!!! I am soo excited. Hopefully, I will be able to watch a lot of it. Go USA! (:
Update on License: Level 4 out of 7. Well in class time. Drive time I'm still doing level 3. bleeeehhhh.
I've had the song "Bad Romance" stuck in my head for the past week. It's a catchy song. And me and my friend decided we'll be the next Lady Gaga. (side note: I actually don't really have an opinion on her, I like some of her songs, but don't listen to her that often.) We're going to be called Lady RaRa squared. Lol.
But, anyways, school is as boring as ever. Seriously. I don't have very many friends in any of my classes, sadly. But, it's okay. I love theatre still- although I'm real nervous about my senior direct. We shall see how it goes. I don't do a real good job, though. I'm not good playing drunk. Seriously. I mean, I felt good with it up until today. So... we'll see.
I'm sorry, but people get way too emotional and personal when it comes to football. Everyone on Facebook for the past two days have been talking smack about Texas losing or talking smack to the people who said Texas lost. We got it, you have a rival with us, but if your team is not even in the competition anymore and is not playing them, why does it matter?
(Warning: Please don't take this as conceited or cocky. That's not how I am meaning it.)
In other news... I GOT A PART IN UIL! I got a part in UIL. I got a part in UIL. I have been in disbelief and have felt so much joy yesterday and today. I got a lead role. I got a lead role. I can't believe it. Honestly, I've been dreaming about this day since freshman year, and even before, but the fact that it happened is seriously so great. I didn't expect it. And, for UIL. In a 7 cast play. Ahhhhh. AND! Jill and Eliza also got a part! We knew that the chances of us all getting a part were slim to none, and so none of us could believe it when we did! And I still can't. I am so thrilled! I am so nervous. But I can't believe it. I truly can't. And the play is AWESOME. I love it I love it I love it.
...So, I don't really care about LW anymore. I mean, I love that play and wanted to be in it, but this is just such a blessing and would rather have this opportunity. Ahhhh.
So, I didn't make Little Women. Not even callbacks. And, that's okay. I'm okay. I think the thing that hurts the most is just the fact that they didn't think I was good enough for the play. Because, as much as I wanted to be in the play, I kinda didn't want to get a part because I didn't want to mess with my chances of making UIL. But, after auditioning I just wanted to be successful.
And I know that it's not just based on talent and blah blah blah. But, I mean, look at me. I look fine for the parts, I tried to express through my monologue strength and maturity (it may had not fit perfectly but it had those qualities that are shown through characters like Jo at least in the play). And I just feel like one of the "sweet girls with fine voices" (what they said explaining the people that didn't get in), and I don't wanna be just that. You know? And I mean, they don't know me and have never seen me before so that probably had to do something with it... but, my friend whose never auditioned for them made callbacks. It's all about talent. And I'm just not filled with enough.
And, I was thinking... I actually don't really know what it feels like to not get a part. I mean, in 4th grade I got asked to be in the highschool play, I made the wicked witch in OZ, I made my first CAPA play I auditioned in, I've made every play I've tried out for school except for my first one when I was a freshman. So, I've been pretty successful in theatre so far, so I haven't really felt that feeling of not making a play. I guess it's about time. It felt weird, I was disappointed and a little hurt, but I mean... I'll get over it.
Now I have to focus on UIL. It's going to be hard to make a part. But I really want it. And I'm going to try hard. Good thing it's not a musical, eh?