I always thought “trust me” was a demand. That I had to continuously pour myself empty to trust God. That He was waiting for me to break myself so that He could sweep in and save the day. That I was destined for a life that was raw and uncomfortable and I just had to “trust him.”
I’m learning, now, that it’s a promise. Life is going to break me. Things out of my control are going to pull me under. Heartache will find me. I don’t have to force myself into those places. They come and go as they please. And, when they do, He’ll be there. He is the trustworthy good refuge that I need.
He tells us to trust Him because He is trustworthy. Not because we have to.
If I could just get that.
He speaks because He is. Not because I have to.
Entangle these twisted thoughts in me, O LORD.
Make them right.
I can no longer breathe in the air I’ve been sucking
I decided to give up social media for lent (facebook, twitter, and snapchat). It felt like the right decision because I didn’t want to do it. My initial reaction had a lot of “but”s.
I don’t like it when people post a status when they are getting off Facebook for x amount of time. I get it, you need to know yourself. If you need a break for your sanity, please, go right ahead. But, when people post statuses about it, it makes it more about them than it should be. I understand that you might want people to know they can’t contact you on fb… but who really uses fb as their primary means to contact someone? If they are contacting you on fb, they probably don’t need to be contacting you. And if it’s important enough, they’ll seek you out when they discover you haven’t answered. Anyway, I digress. This is not me saying “I just need a break from all YOUR opinions you guys are too political and I don’t agree so I gotta shut you out”. But, there is a reason I want to explain why I’m getting off. I don’t know if this is any better, and might make things about me… but, this is my blog and I do what I want. (jk).
Honestly, the reason I have been hesitant to take a break from social media is because I feel like if I don’t wake up everyday and post a status about resisting Trump, then I will lose my “social justice” status. I will no longer be the cool, woke girl (I don't know if I’m actually woke sorry for saying that) who gets in heated discussions over facebook. And I think that is the very reason I need to get off it for 40 days. (That’s how long lent is, right?) I need to figure out how I can actually put my thoughts and opinions into action. Discourse over social media is good and can be important, but I think it should only be one of the things you do. Not the only thing. And, for me right now, it’s the main thing. (I sometimes donate money or go to a protest or talk in person… but not nearly enough).
So, I’m letting go of my need to throw myself in the discussion on social media so everyone knows where I stand and I’m (hopefully) replacing it with more tangible ways to make a difference in my community and country. I’ll probably fail or forget or make a mistake down the line, but every day is a new day.
I have some ideas of where to start and books to read and resources… but, please! Message me (I’m sure I’ll still look at messages because that’s more like texting than social media) / text me / email me if you have suggestions or whatever.
P.S. I am fully aware of the purpose of lent in making space for God in preparation for Easter, and am definitely not forgetting that. That is another reason I want to get off social media. To spend more time praying about things and seeking God and growing in understanding and wisdom.
P.P.S. I still think Trump is simultaneously the biggest joke and extremely dangerous. I still am waiting for white evangelicals to admit this and stop bowing down to him. He’s embarrassing and the longer you support him, the more of an embarrassment you become. I still hate Tonny Lame-o.
See you guys on the flip side. Or, like… in real life.