"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

- Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings
Sometimes God Speaks In Weird Ways

So yesterday I was sitting on my bed staring at my bookshelf like I often do. I have probably 50 books on that shelf. I've read probably half of them if even. That's not really the point, but I was sitting there thinking about all the books I need to read and I spotted a book that I have read: And He Dwelt Among Us by A.W. Tozer. It was the first Christian book (besides the Bible obviously) that I bought and read. I remember going to Borders with my sister and father wanting to find a Christian book to read. I picked it out randomly not knowing who A.W. Tozer was. Nobody recommended the book for me and I had no idea what it was about besides what the back told me. But I picked it out, bought it, and read it. I read it pretty quickly. I think it was my junior or senior year of high school.

I was sitting there staring at this stupid book and thinking back to my senior self and how I found a random book about God, written by a guy who is already dead, and read it because I was that hungry.

I'm so thankful for that year and the year after that. I'm so thankful that God continually stirred my hunger up and continually responded to fill my hunger. I'm so thankful that I spent so much time reading the Bible, praying, worshipping, reading, searching, soaking up, taking risks, growing, stretching.

I could probably describe the season I'm in as one that is not easy. Nothing comes out of an overflow for me. Reading the Bible is a discipline- one that I too often don't practice.

But what that book symbolized for me yesterday was that those seasons of extreme hunger and intense pursuit were not in vain. They are not lost. They are not just memories. But they have made me who I am today. Every time I spent with God, he was planting roots in my heart. And those roots are still here today. All is not lost. I didn't lose the secrets and truth that God has poured into me.

And that makes me so thankful. I'm thankful I had those days because they are not as everlasting as I would have hoped. I go through seasons of questions, and dryness, and fear, and confusion. But I still have the foundation of meeting God face to face and falling in love with him and falling in love with his word. It's still with me today.

And continually I learn, every day, that God is worth my life. No matter my circumstances.

For the Weary Heart

For the weary heart
For the restless mind
For the wandering soul

For the lost sheep
For the prodigal son
For the unmotivated one

For the desert dweller
For the cold heart
For the restless child

For anyone who feels trapped, confused, scared, lost, dry, overwhelmed, passive.

Lift up your eyes
To the Giver of Life.
The Faithful One.
The Holy One.
The Tender One.
The All-Consuming Fire.
The Advocator.
The Intercessor.
The Prince of Peace.
The King of Kings.
The Lord of Lords.
The Creator of the Earth.
The Father to the Fatherless.
The Mighty Savior.
The Same Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow.

He is constant.
Even though we are constantly changing.
He is the same God
When we had the mountaintop experience.
He is the same God
When life was full of meaning.
He is the same God
When joy and grace abounded.
He is the same God
When everything was out of overflow
He is the same.

Bring to him all you have.
Bring to him the nothing you have.
Drop at his feet your fears.
Your doubts.
Your anxiety.
Your anger.
Your bitterness.

Ask him every question.
Say nothing at all.
Sing to him praise.
Sit quietly and listen.
There is no agenda.
There is no plan.

Be still and know that He is God.

In him there is peace.
In him there is joy.
In him there is living water.
In him there is healing.
In him there are answers to your questions.
In him there is love.

Don't think about the things you haven't done.
Don't look behind you.
Just come today.
Just come as you are.
Just come.

Know he has already won.
He has defeated the grave.
He is sitting on his throne.

His yoke is easy and his burden is light.

He is worthy.
He is good.
He is faithful.
He is near.

Nothing can separate you from his love.
You are sealed.
You are set in his hands.

His ways are higher than your ways.
His thoughts are higher than your thoughts.

He is the Creator of the Universe and he knows your name.
He is the King of Kings and yet he gave his life for you.

At the sound of his name the rocks tremble.

He is glory.
He is majesty.

He is the lion and the lamb.
And he has you in his hands.

Let everything else fade away.
The ever surrounding voices of others.
The pressures.
The obligations.
The debates.
The opinions.
The expectations.
The comparisons.
The standards.

And lift up your eyes to the giver of life.

Are you thirsty? Come to the fountain.
Are you scared? Come to the hiding place.
Are you doubtful? Come to the source of wisdom.
Are you tired? Come to rest.
Are you anxious? Come to peace.
Are you bored? Come to abundant life.

His love is better than all this world can give.

Keep going, weary traveler.
Step by step.

"May my prayer like incense rise before You
The lifting of my hands as sacrifice
Oh Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
For I know there is mercy in Your sight

Your statutes are my heritage forever
My heart is set on keeping Your decrees
Please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
Let Love keep my will upon its knees

To all creation I can see a limit
But Your commands are boundless and have none
So Your Word is my joy and meditation
From the rising to the setting of the sun

All Your ways are loving and are faithful
The road is narrow but Your burden light
Because You gladly lean to lead the humble
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

Oh God, you are my God.
And I will ever praise you.
I will seek you in the morning.
And I will learn to walk in your ways.
And step by step you'll lead me.
And I will follow you all my days."
-Like Incense/Sometimes By Step (Hillsong)