"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

- Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings
Summer 2010/Senior Year/The Year of Bethany:Take Two/and everything else pertaining to the upcoming year

Sorry if this post is rushed... I was going to do it sooner. But I forgot.

Things to do this summer:
-LICENSE (My goal is JULY)
-Find a job. (I'm not giving up... I'm going to apply to Ruckus Room.)
-Hang out with people I want to hang out with multiple times.

I don't know if it's weird to blockquote yourself, but I just did.
-Got it. :) And reached my goal of July (even though my original goal was like... April. Ha)
-God blessed me with what I wanted. To work and make some money (very little) and still have a break. So I worked at Gattis. And good thing I didn't apply to Ruckus Room, it's closing down.
-I did relax. A lot.
-I accomplished then. And then again I didn't. But, it was a very sociable summer. :)

I think this summer was really good. And I don't know if I'm wrong to say, or too upright or whatever, but I believe I grew closer to God this summer. If only by an inch. Granted, I have thousands of miles to go, but He's really taught me a lot and I've been more attentive to the things he wants me to teach him.

I am just ready to go into senior year, and shake things up. I'm scared to death. And I know that I can't do it on my own. But I really hope that I can reveal God's glory in my life and as I grow to love Jesus more, that people will see that. I'm not sad that the year is starting. But, then again, I am. But I really hope I don't waste this year. I pray God won't let me.

...Okay. I guess I didn't have much to say. What else is new?

Here it goes.

Captivate Us

Your face is beautiful
And Your eyes are like the stars
Your gentle hands have healing
There inside the scars
Your loving arms they draw me near
And Your smile it brings me peace
Draw me closer oh my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Captivate us, Lord Jesus
Set our eyes on You
Devastate us with Your presence
Falling down
And rushing river, draw us nearer
Holy fountain consume us with You
Captivate us Lord Jesus, with You

Your voice is powerful
And Your words are radiant bright
In Your breath and shadow
I will come close and abide
You whisper love and life divine
And Your fellowship is free
Draw me closer O my Lord
Draw me closer Lord to Thee

Let everything be lost in the shadows
Of the light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I’m bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You’re full of wisdom, power and might
And every eye will see You

These past few days my mind has been running non-stop and I'm so weary of not knowing. I'm praying for peace in my heart and soul and for Jesus to just... well, captivate me as the song says.

It's my birthday!!

Ahhhhh, woooh! I love birthdays! :)))

I just wanted to post something really quick that I've been thinking about for like... I guess since camp but probably a little before too. Just about our (or I'm talking about me mostly, but I feel I'm probably not alone) mindset of this world. We tend to think of God as more of the helper in this world and, yes, the savior of the world. But He is more than that. He didn't just come down to save us to give us a better life later. To give us the ticket into heaven. And I don't know if I'm making so much sense, but like I sometimes feel like there is the world and God kinda stepped in and shook things up.And I too often look at life through the worlds eyes as just doing what I want, going to school, getting a job, doing good, and having Jesus there to fall back on and then see him in Heaven. He invited us to heaven, we RSVP, but don't talk to him till we get to heaven. You know? And not even that. I mean cause I pray and stuff. But I don't see that my purpose has to be to be a disciple. I guess. Like I do, but I am so afraid to do it because it'll be stepping into someone's business. ANd it's kinda like, this is my path, you choose your path. But it's not like that. God created the world. This is HIS world. He made everything and through him everything is. Christ is all. And when I truly look at it that way, my whole purpose and being changes. I realize that I have been brought back to where I belonged in the first place. It's not that he just was there and then looked at us and decided to save us. But he created us and his creation as a whole turned from him and spat in his face. But then, by his grace, he's allowed us to turn back. So I am apart of the redeemed. And I am just here waiting till I go to be with Jesus. Where I belong. And I will do what I was made to do, and that is glorify him and be with him. And when I see my life like that, I realize that my duty on this earth is to bring the world back to Jesus. And it doesn't scare me as much. It makes it that more important than if I look at life through the worlds eye and Christianity as just another religion. It's more than that. And so I need to share with people. But all this is easier said than done. But I just have to pray that God will give me the one mindset, the true mindset of how God is above and in and through all things. He is master and creator and King. And that is why I'm here. He's not here for me. I'm here for him. And hopefully if He gives me that mindset, then my fear and pride will just be crushed down. And I will start to see people more broken and in need of their savior.

I think I may have said a lot of things wrong or not how I meant to. But, I think the point is still there.

And He Dwelt Among Us

I love the story of Elijah. A marvelous, wonderful man of God he was before a tremendously pagan world. Due to some dire circumstances, Elijah finds himself hiding in a cave. It is in the cave that Elijah hears the voice of God. "And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice" (I Kings 19:12).

It is not that God is not speaking to us or communication to us. Rather, we have allowed ourselves to get back into such a hole that all we hear is the noise around us. Only after all of that noise has spent itself do we begin to hear in the silence of our heart that still, small, most mighty voice of God speaking to us.

God loves us and cares for us. God has a plan for us and is in fact carrying out that way. Jesus has set forth God before us. He revealed God's grace, mercy, good and redemptive intention. He set forth, brought it and gave it to us. Now we have only to turn and believe and accept and take and follow. And it is ours.

Thank God for the Truth, for the Word, for the Eternal Son, for the One we present to you as Lord and Savior.

-A.W. Tozer, And He Dwelt Among Us