"I ruined your picture- but I saved your life. "


Another thing I've been wondering.

How do you pray? Like, not in general, but you specifically. Do you write it down? Or just say it out loud or in your mind? And do you cover everything at once? Cause I find that so hard to just sit down and pray for each family member or friend or person in need. Cause there is always something to be praying about. So do you just pray in your head for someone specific whenever you think of them?

I need to get into a better habit of praying but I want to know the best way to do it. Cause I can't sit down for minutes on end and just think/write my prayer. Like, my mind won't let me do it. So, I was just wondering how others pray.

Family Weekend!

I'm here in Molly's dorm just hanging out while Mom and Dad are going to a wedding. It's been a lot of fun so far!

Yesterday, we arrived around 10:30 and went to a brunch thing and talked to two of her professors (intro to business and freshman seminar) who had a lot of nice things to say about Molly. Then we went to the Football game and that was fun but it was sooooo cold. We left in the middle of the third quarter because it was cold and we were winning like 33 to 7 (final score was 54 to 20 I believe) and we went to eat at Luigi's with Andrew. Which was really really good. After that we went back to UMHB and hung out and met Jamie, molly's roommate, and Anna, her suitemate. They're both really cool and so we talked for a while and watched the Texas game. Then we went back to the hotel to get my stuff so I could stay with Molly since Andrew was staying at the hotel. And once we got back to the dorm we +Jamie went downstairs to watch Miracle! I love that movie a lot and it was a lot of fun! We watched it with subtitles which is cool because you catch a lot of things that you missed before. Sadly, like right as the final game was starting I was just resting my eyes for a few but fighting to stay awake. Then I started like dreaming but I could still hear the game in the background. Molly woke me to ask me a question, haha, but I missed the first goal they scored. So I was kinda sad, but I stayed awake through the rest and then we came back up to the room and slept.
Today we woke up, went to Molly's church Antioch. It was really fun and good. We met everyone from her lifegroup and Sarah and David and everyone else. They were really nice and fun. Then we went to eat at Taquerias. I liked their queso a lot, reminded me of El Gallo. And now we're here and hanging out.

This week is going to be a big week. Tuesday I have auditions and a APUSH test. So it's just hard trying to balance stressing out about auditions and stressing out about the test. (Even though I'm not really stressing out about the test... which is a bad thing). Then Wednesday I have the PSAT. And callbacks. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't know how I'm going to get a good night sleep when I'll be wondering if I made callbacks. And I don't know how I'll actually take the PSAT when I want to find out if I made callbacks. It's going to take a lot of prayer and determination. I'm shooting for a 217. Or somewhere close enough to get me commended. I know it's a hard goal, but it's better to shoot for it and not get it then not shoot for it at all. Thursday I'll find out if I got a part (and I'm hoping I will!) and so next weekend should be a nice one. Very relaxing. So... I'll just keep my eyes on Friday and push towards that.

The next play we are doing is actually going to be two plays. The first one is a 1 Act hour show or so and it is called The Final Dress Rehearsal. Sounds fun, and it's a comedy so hopefully it'll be funny. The next is scenes from a Midsummer's Nights Dream (the parts when some characters are putting on a play.) If I get a part, it'll most likely be in Final Dress Rehearsal, cause that is a cast of 13 girls and the other one is mostly guys. I really want to get a part, but for some reason I'm just worrying about it. Because, comedy is not my strong point. I mean, I can be funny at times, and I can make my class laugh in my scenes... but it's never really intentional. You know. I don't know if I can do a real funny part. I mean, I think I can, hopefully, maybe I'm just doubting my self. Well, Mrs. Koern knows what I can do and so I'm sure she hopefully knows I'm sorta funny. But it's also physical comedy. Which, I think kinda helps me cause last year I did a lot of physical stuff like playing Gollum and I did a lot of roles that required me to move. But, I am just stressing out about the audition. I can't find a good comedic monologue that allows me to be big. Because I don't just want to go in there and do a monologue that I'd be good at, but wouldn't show Mrs. Koern anything for the show. You know? So, I'm trying to find comedic monologues. But none of them are good. The ones I've found and liked are just kinda straight acting (which doesn't really help because she already knows I can act. So I need to show her I can do the roles she's casting for, you know?). And there is one that I found that I could do a lot with the blocking and is sorta funny but it sounds like one of those monologues you get from a cheesy teen monologue book. (Which she doesn't like. And, technically, she would prefer it to be from a play. And that monologue is from a play, or that's what is says, but not a very well-known one obviously. Which isn't a bad thing) So, I'm trying to decide what I should do. Should I do a monologue that doesn't really fit the exact play theme but is good written and acted-wise (hopefully, haha), or should I do a cheesyly written and hopefully acted well and sorta funny? I don't know. I mean, last year I got casted in Get Smart for doing a monologue that was on the dramatic side. But, it was a small part. Ha. So, maybe that's my problem. I'm doing monologues that get me into small parts. Not big ones. Gr, I don't know. It's stressing me out. I'm trying to call a friend and see what their doing, but I haven't really had time yet and there is not much service in here.

But, on a happier note, senior directs start in two weeks so hopefully maybe I'll get a good part! (good as in a character I'll enjoy.)


I've been thinking about this a lot and it's been kinda bugging me. Where do we, as Christians, draw the line between loving for and wanting people to find Christ and just being judgmental and lowering our views on others? Because I want to share my faith and invite friends to church and I want them to come to know Christ but I don't want them to feel like they are just a project or goal I am working on. You know? Or that I just pity them. Where do we draw the line between saying that we hurt for them because they are lost and just condemning them to Hell? Because as a Christian, I want to love them and not see them differently but should I see them differently as someone in need? Or is that just judging them? Should we say that we feel sorry for them because they are going to Hell or is that too far? (I actually wouldn't really say that... but something that happened like that sparked my interest). Because to the world, if someone said that, they would be shocked and think that's so out of line, but should we also think that? Because I don't want to just be like "you're going to Hell" but, is it our job to say that? Or is it socially wrong?

I don't feel like I'm making any sense. But, it's just been bugging me.

Still and Soft Voice

So I was reading from James today in my reading plan, and guess what the passage was?

James 3:1-12 ESV
Taming the Tongue
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

I was trying to remember a verse or verses that talked about the tongue and stuff and could only think of the cliche (but still legit) verse saying: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come from your mouth..." but this passage talks to much more about the results and pain and I am going to remember in my days so I can begin to apply it to my life.

God is cool, huh?

Talk, talk, talk.

I've been real convicted and reminded lately about being careful what you say. I've found myself just gossiping too much and saying too much that it gets me and others in trouble. I'm trying to work on just speaking with love and not with hate and not talking behind peoples back. I have gotten in to many troubled spots and am walking on too many thin lines of my friendships to continue. I need to work on loving people. And to start, I need to stop talking.

But anyways, the play is over. It was fun and I'm going to miss it but am glad it's over. Usual end of play feelings. Thanks to all who came! I'm going to miss Olga. And I'll miss playing the piano so much, but it's good that it's over. I'm tired and trying not to get behind.

I just watched Miracle again. (Yes, I know, I'm obsessed.) But it just gives me chills every time. It's so good and inspiring and just plain awesome. You should rent it and watch it if you haven't.

Also, I got all A's this six weeks!! Woop woop! 92 in APUSH!