"The joy of the Lord is my strength."

- Nehemiah 8:10
I Still Have My Dreams

So, I didn't make Little Women. Not even callbacks. And, that's okay. I'm okay. I think the thing that hurts the most is just the fact that they didn't think I was good enough for the play. Because, as much as I wanted to be in the play, I kinda didn't want to get a part because I didn't want to mess with my chances of making UIL. But, after auditioning I just wanted to be successful.

And I know that it's not just based on talent and blah blah blah. But, I mean, look at me. I look fine for the parts, I tried to express through my monologue strength and maturity (it may had not fit perfectly but it had those qualities that are shown through characters like Jo at least in the play). And I just feel like one of the "sweet girls with fine voices" (what they said explaining the people that didn't get in), and I don't wanna be just that. You know? And I mean, they don't know me and have never seen me before so that probably had to do something with it... but, my friend whose never auditioned for them made callbacks. It's all about talent. And I'm just not filled with enough.

And, I was thinking... I actually don't really know what it feels like to not get a part. I mean, in 4th grade I got asked to be in the highschool play, I made the wicked witch in OZ, I made my first CAPA play I auditioned in, I've made every play I've tried out for school except for my first one when I was a freshman. So, I've been pretty successful in theatre so far, so I haven't really felt that feeling of not making a play. I guess it's about time. It felt weird, I was disappointed and a little hurt, but I mean... I'll get over it.

Now I have to focus on UIL. It's going to be hard to make a part. But I really want it. And I'm going to try hard. Good thing it's not a musical, eh?

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Comments on "I Still Have My Dreams":
1. papa - 01/03/2010 2:42 pm CST

Bethany, things happen for a reason. Keep ypur head up and follow your dreams. You are a winner to those who love you.

Love you.

2. MaMa - 01/05/2010 3:44 pm CST

Beth: We know God has a plan for you and your life so keep pressing in and He will reveal all in time. Love you dearly, you are star in our book... you know that, right?

3. Bethany - 01/05/2010 4:15 pm CST

Thanks Mama and Papa. (:
Mama- Yes, I do. ha.

4. papa - 01/08/2010 5:37 pm CST

Congratulations on your UIL part!
Love youi.

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