My costume is complete!! Except for small easy touchups. But it looks real good. Mrs. Concialdi helped so much and I am very thankful!!


I am still phoneless, though. I'm going to check the lost and found tomorrow.

Today went from a good day to a real stressing day.

1st: I'm the ranked second in my class! Which is exciting! Even though it'll go down.
3rd: Element quiz was easy.
6th: Newspaper came out today! Which was excited. And I won't even talk about copy editor stuff.
7th: 86 on my WHAP test!! 84 for the six weeks average!!

After there was a lockdown because a man with a gun was right across Lamkin, which was kinda scary. But it was okay.

Then in theatre was when the stress started. I couldn't find my bag with my costume in it. I looked forever, then finally found it my bag. Then I had to get my leotard so Carmel could work on it, and I knew where I put it, but it wasn't there. Someone had cleaned out the room and moved it somewhere. So I could never find it, thankfully, Mrs. Koern had another one I could use, but its a couple sizes to small, but it fits, a little tight, but its good. I then couldn't find my hat that I had done so we could make the head piece, which, again, I knew where I put it, someone had just moved it, I believe. 'Cause it wasn't on the table. Never found it. So we decided not to use it (which is okay). Then, I can't find my pencil bag (which I think I left it in WHAP). I've lost every part of me twice. Which I am tired of losing things.

I lost my phone, my hoodie (which I think, where that is, so is my phone), my pencil bag, my costume, more of my costume, and so on. I'm not usually like this, just this year has been so stressful. I've constantly left things places.

Tonight I'm just going to do something unstressful. Then, tomorrow, I need need need to finish my costume!! It's my priority for the weekend. I will do it! I believe. I'm kinda almost there. Just a lot of sewing. And a big part that needs to be done.

On the plus side, I really only have to go to school fully on Tuesday. Because on Wednesday we have PSAT, and Thursday and Friday we travel. (Which apparently, we may not be able to, but I am praying we will!)

Today was a much better day.

I now have an 82 in WHAP! And we took a test today, so I am really nervous. But I think I did good.

Spanish test was that we had to do the review (which we had all finished from the night before) and we could use our notes and the book and the dictionary and stuff. It was reallyyy nice. And we got to lie to 5th period and say it was really hard. haha.

Still haven't found my phone. I am so upset.

Job-stealing-girl-situation hasn't cleared up. I think I should talk to my editor, but I don't know, I don't want him to think that I am just complaining and stuff. But, she called herself the copy editor today, which made everything a lot worse. And everyone was talking about how much they appreciate their work and how no one thought that they would be that good. Which makes me just really peeved.

Office tonight!! Favorite day of the week. Friday tomorrow!! And Monday off!!

And we are making lots of progress on the costume.

Monday: Costume. Stayed for late night. Did nothing because co copy editor and girl who is not copy editor took my job. And when they did 'include' me, they didn't really. And I felt stupid cause I look like I don't know what I'm doing, when I just want to edit the pages. Grrrr.

Tuesday: Costume. Late night. I edited one page. For the three hours I was there. Stayed till 8 doing nothing. Lost my stupid phone.

Wednesday: Costume getting better. Newspaper, no one is finished and I still am jobless and phoneless.

WHAP test tomorrow. Everything coming up fast. Spanish test tomorrow that counts 3 times! That's just ridiculous. It's already hard enough. Are they trying to kill me and my GPA?

PSAT on Wednesday. Not to worried. But hopefully I can get into scholars. On practice PSAT I only missed 8 out of 24. Which is good.


... And I only expect things to get harder.

Going on a daddy date soon, hopefully that'll help.

I'm at school at the moment. I'm at late night and I am doing absolutely nothing. Which is making me mad, because I don't want to stay here and just do nothing when I could be at home doing my hours and hours and hours of homework.

Rehearsals was fun! My costume is getting closer and closer to being completed, but it's still not far along.

Today was fun, not much to report on.

Jeremy sent the ad!

So yes, I'll get back to my busy work.

Last night was lots of fun! I went to Carly's 16th birthday party. We played Laser Tag and I got second both times!

These next two weeks are going to be busy and tough. With the play and newspaper, I'm pretty much going to be living at school.

I have no idea how I am going to finish my costume in time. But, I'm going to have to. Hopefully it'll look good.

I'm shooting for a B in WHAP. I pretty much need more than an 85 on the test, which I believe is duable. I just feel like there is no time to study.

Ahhh.

Philippians 4:13-
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Give me strength, O Lord. I'm going to need it.

I got a 100 on my algebra 2 test!! And highest in my class!

I also found out my essay for WHAP is a daily grade, which is good and bad. Good because it took a lot of pressure off, bad because I could've used that major grade. I got a lot of help from my teacher, though. Which was good!

My stories are pretty much done, they are in the final touches mode. They are on the page too! It looks nice! Be sure to look out for it! (:

... every once in a while.

I got a 97 on my personal challenge essay!!

I need to go figure out how I'm going to write my world history essay now.

Just to let you know. I'm okay.
Just tired.

I failed my first World History AP test. I got a 56. I didn't study. I didn't get home till 7. It was 11 when I finished my homework. I was too tired. I was too stressed. I was too angry.

Excuses aside, I'm going to do better. I'm going to get better. I'm going to stop complaining and work. I'm going to work hard.

I'm going to pull through. I have to.

And yes, I realize I am doing a lot. I don't need the reminder. It's just the only way. If I want to be successful, it's the only way.

I'm sorry for sounding so lame and depressing. But, I don't know. I need to get all this out.

I don't think I'm a good journalist. Actually, I know I'm not. A journalist is someone who wants to dig deep in the story, find the stranges angles, interview the stranges people. I can't do that. It's too hard for me.

I'm not sure if I'm regretting taking newspaper. I took it because I wanted to grow as a writer. It's just so demanding. I enjoy the people and the class. It's just, so hard. I don't know if I'll take it again next year. Hopefully it'll get better. I want to get better. We'll just have to see.

Well, now I'm off to revise my gas story. Which I didn't even want to write. That kid stole my story though. I'm not good at gas stuff. And she wants me to call an expert! Where am I supposed to find an expert?

Once again, I'm trying not to complain. It's just me and my hatred of hard work. And socializing. Therefore, I am not a journalist.

I'll stop talking about this now.

And everything has been pounded on me again.
I need more hurricanes.


I just wish something would go my way.
I hate school. And trying to make business with people.

About ADs.


School is tomorrow, and no one is answering my emails. Ah!

v. 4-7

4 Ah, sinful nation,
a people loaded with guilt,
a brood of evildoers,
children given to corruption!
They have forsaken the LORD;
they have spurned the Holy One of Israel
and turned their backs on him.

5 Why should you be beaten anymore?
Why do you persist in rebellion?
Your whole head is injured,
your whole heart afflicted.

6 From the sole of your foot to the top of your head
there is no soundness—
only wounds and welts
and open sores,
not cleansed or bandaged
or soothed with oil.

7 Your country is desolate,
your cities burned with fire;
your fields are being stripped by foreigners
right before you,
laid waste as when overthrown by strangers.

v.16-18

16 wash and make yourselves clean.
Take your evil deeds
out of my sight!
Stop doing wrong,

17 learn to do right!
Seek justice,
encourage the oppressed. [a]
Defend the cause of the fatherless,
plead the case of the widow.

18 "Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

These verses have been on my mind lately.

I have not thought about it since Thursday. Which is real nice. Real nice.
And when I said I hated it, I don't. I just, hate the stress it was giving me.

But, that is not the point of the blog.
I don't have a real point, really. I guess I just wanted to update you on what you probably know about Ike.

I slept through it. Which now kinda stinks. Cause I'll never know what it was like, cause apparently it was really scary. But, I guess its a good thing I didn't see it.
It definitely left its mark. Lots of fallen trees and fences. And no power. But, things are normal for the most part, and things are getting better.
I have played Phase 10, watched Lord of the Rings, and eating Mac n Cheese all weekend long. It's been nice.
I've also been with my family (er, most of it) all weekend long. It's been nice for the most part, but there have been fights and tears.
I feel like its summer again. Which stinks cause then I have to go back to school on Thursday.
I really needed this break. And its only the third week of school. And, that means are other breaks that might be even more needed, we will have to make up.
We finally got Blake's room pretty much his own now. There are still some of Andrews stuff in there, but its a lot cleaner.
I have finally changed my furniture around in my room, its still not complete, cause I have to clean the floor, but, its looking good. And we have to paint it soon.

So, its been a pretty productive weekend. Thanks Ike.

I just need to make it official.



Just thought I'd let you know.

I hate newspaper.
I hate school.

Now, although both my stories for the newspaper are completed (for the first- er second- stage) and in he hands of my editor- hopefully, I still am stressing out about selling an AD.

We have to sell an AD for the newspaper so we can have money to print. Makes sense, right? They have a list up of where we can go and, basically, anywhere that is privately owned. (Hair places, nail salons, small restaurants, etc.) Sounds easy.

You go in there, ask them if they'd be interested in buying an AD, and they smiled and agree and buy the AD. Well, that's not how it is. (And the editors should change their role play, its very misleading).

I go in to a nail salon, we'll say, and tell them who I am. I ask if they'd like to buy an AD.

They stare at me for a couple of seconds. Then, their tone of voice indicates they don't know what to do in a situation like that, they begin to ask the obvious questions. Like how much or whatever. I give them all the information.

Then they say. "I'll have to ask my boss. Can I call you later?"

And, apparently, I'm supposed to know how to answer this. I'm supposed to ask to get the contact info of this boss and call him and ask him myself. I may not be a certified journalist yet, but I am most definitely not a salesperson. I should know how to say this. But, me being me, I don't. I say, "Okay." And walk out feeling stupid and unsuccessful. And, ADs were due today.

And, the pressure of the grades makes it worse. My grade will be a 50 in that class at the rate I'm going, which pretty much means I'm going to community college since I decided I wanted to write. Hmph. They can't grade us on how well and quickly we sell. Because we are not salespersons. We find news. We tell news. We don't sell.

Also, I am a student. They are not going to take me as seriously then if I were some business women with a case and a suit. So, of course they are going to look at me stupid. I'm not supposed to be making business with them, I'm supposed to be giving them business.

Maybe it's that I didn't present myself well enough. I didn't shake their hand, or smile enough. I'm just this short, awkward girl, in jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe I should dress nicer. Maybe Mrs. Harris should grade how we dress. Seriously.

Now, I haven't gone to every place in town, I've gone to three. But thats all how they've gone.
It may just be me not trying hard enough, but I'm trying hard. I just can't drive around town for hours looking for someone to buy me a stinkin AD. And I can't ask Molly or Mom, because chances are, they don't want to/can't.

I'm an artist. Not a salesperson.


P.S. The organization may be wack. I don't feel like looking.
P.S.S. I just needed to get everything out, so you may think I'm overreacting.
That's okay.

This year has definitely started off way better than last year. For many reasons. I just do know its going to get harder... and for that, I'm scared. I just hope I'll be stronger so I will be able to handle everything, and still live.


I am so excited about the play, though. I wish Mama and Papa would be here to see it though. ):

Writing a feature story is hard.

Especially when your pressured to make it the best, since thousands (theoretically) of students and teacher will read it. Especially the one's its about. And when you are being graded. And when, for your deadline, you threw a bunch of trash together. And when you don't know how to write one. When you never had. When your not sure of your angle.

And when someone else steals your story so you have to write a different one and the deadline was Friday and you don't even have your interviews/ideas/any clue.


It's a bad feeling.

I made the copy editor for the newspaper!

I'm really excited. I didn't think I'd make it, but I did! I don't know why, but this week has been really good. First, good things with band. Second, I made call backs for the play. Third, I made copy editor!

So yes... now I need to start on my 5 hours of homework...